Tried and proven ways to avoid making enemies.
Making enemies nowadays seems very easy with all the political correctness going around, people are offended by just about anything. Below are surefire ways to make enemies and how to avoid it.
- Telling people, they are wrong.
You can tell people they are wrong by a look or an intonation or a gesture just as eloquently as you can in words. If you tell them they are wrong, does it make them want to agree with you? Not at all for you have struck a direct blow at their intelligence, judgement, pride and self-respect. That will make them want to strike back. It will not make them want to agree with you. You will not convince them regardless of how much logic you throw at them for you have hurt their feelings.
Avoid taking direct statements that shout out, ‘you are wrong and I am right’. Your antagonist doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. Find what you agree on and dwell on that.
- Never begin by announcing, “I am going to prove so and so to you.”
That’s bad, tantamount to saying, “I’m smarter than you are, I’m going to tell you a thing or two to change your mind.” This is a challenge, it arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you long before you even start.
Don’t start arguing/debating from where you two disagree the most. Start from where you two share the greatest commonality.
- You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself.
If you want to be more likeable, don’t introduce an idea/plan to someone as your own. Introduce it to them and let them cook it in their mind then let them come up with it. This will build make your workmates/friends consider you a team worker.
Anyone who makes someone else feel good is likeable and attractive.
- Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them.
No one wants to feel inferior. In our heads, we consider ourselves superior to everyone else. So, does everyone else. Everyone thinks they are unique, special and superior to everyone else. If you consistently tell people you are better than they are, it stirs hatred and envy which will ruin your reputation. Be smart, but keep it to yourself. Actions speak louder than words.
- Men must be taught not as though you taught them something new but as though you taught them something they had forgotten.
No one wants to feel stupid. Every time you want to tell someone something they find completely unknown, link it to something they know then explain it in terms they understand.
Using dense vocabulary to explain unknown leaves the listener feeling stupid. They won’t love you for it and will consider you a braggart and self-conceited fool.
Look out for part two.