God himself does not propose to judge a man until the end of his days, so why should you and I? –Dr. Johnson.

We often want things done exactly to our specifications. We all want the tasks we have designated done to our level of perfection. Very frequently, this doesn’t happen. We will always have something to complain about, something to criticize and someone else to blame. By natural conditioning, we always opt to complain over a poorly done task, criticize others for not getting it just right and blame someone else for our shortcomings and misgivings. Let’s step back and see how effectively that works.

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We have all complained about something in our life. We Criticize, criticize, criticize hoping change happens. Mothers criticize their children for their disorganized rooms. Husbands criticize their wives for poorly tasting food. Teachers criticize students for low grades and performance in class. Criticism is basically thrown around at juniors by their superiors.

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How effective is this? How many of you have changed after being criticized? Speaking for myself, criticism just made me more indignant and stubborn to changing my actions and thoughts. Even in a debating contest, how effective will you be in changing your challenger to your opinion if you continuously dispel his ideas as wrong and foolish and yours as moral and just?

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Blame game. Oldest game in all time started in the Garden of Eden and has never stopped till today. Whenever we make a mistake, we look around for someone or something to blame. We all look around for someone to blame but ourselves. None of us can stand being put in the spotlight for an error we have made. We just push it around and shove it to someone else but ourselves. We never take the consequences of our actions and someone else suffers the effects of our wrong choices.

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Thieves, robbers, murderers, gangsters, rapists and many people inside prison walls don’t blame themselves for anything. These people, mind you, have been proven beyond reasonable doubt to have committed these crimes yet they still think of themselves as victims of circumstances. If this people behind bars don’t blame themselves for anything, what about the people you and I come into contact with?

It is foolish to criticize; we have enough trouble overcoming our own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen it fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence amongst all men. People don’t criticize themselves for anything no matter how wrong they may be. So why should we?

Criticism is futile and ineffective as it often puts a person on the defensive and makes them strive to justify themselves and their actions.

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It’s dangerous to criticize as it wounds a person’s self-pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment. The resentment that criticism creates can demoralize employees, family members and friends and still not correct the situation that has been condemned. As human beings, we thirst for approval yet dread condemnation. Criticism always bounces back; the person we are trying to condemn or correct will justify themselves and condemn us in return.

An animal rewarded for good behavior will learn faster than an animal punished for bad behavior.

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Studies have shown that the same applies to humans. The habit of finding fault is based on preconceived notions of us being similar, which we aren’t. We judge people by the length of our experiences, skill and practice acquired over the years. We need to understand that we aren’t dealing with creatures of logic but with creatures of emotion with prejudices and motivated by pride.

Speak ill of no man and speak all good I know of everybody.

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Any fool can condemn, criticize and complain, (and most fools do). But it takes character and self-control to be forgiving. A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men. Instead of condemning people, let’s try and understand them. Let’s figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.

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Be patient with fellow men, as even God waits till the end of our days to judge us.

Regards,

Leaks Guru.

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