“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. It is in this relationship that you set the standard for all others.” – Steve Maraboli
We are brought up in a world where we are taught how to be, how to act. We are taught to conceal how we feel. We aren’t supposed to cry in public, and if you are a man, heck you aren’t even meant to cry at all. Let’s have a sneak peak at my life.
We all dream of being that cool guy or beautiful woman that everyone wants to be with. That one person who has everything going great for them and always has it all under control. Those guys who always knew what to say and those ladies who always had the hottest guys and shapely bodies. You on the other hand were either that guy who suffered from foot and mouth disease saying the wrong thing at the most inappropriate time and or way. Or maybe you were that Lady whose fashion was always a few steps behind and your body a bit too round or the opposite of the coveted figure eight.
Just like you, I wasn’t any different. I always wanted to be the cool guy. You know that guy who’d always have the right word to say, that guy with the awesome smile, that guy who spoke so little yet labeled social and popular. Yes I wanted to be that guy, that kind of guy who made no show of emotion, whether pain happiness or sadness, he would just keep his cool. You know the kind of calm like winning a lottery jackpot and still act like its stuff that happens everyday. I wanted to be that guy. That guy who could get any woman he wanted and still have ten more drooling after him and wishing for his time. He knew when to hold her hand, kiss her for the first time exactly at the right moment and tell her I love you just at the perfect moment, not too early that it would scare her off or too late that she’d get tired of waiting.
He would have Adam Lambert looks. Jericho Rosales-personality. David Zepeda’s-charm.Johnny Depp’s sense of humor.Derek cool calm aura.Elisha’s chivalry and Nicklaus strength and bad ass attitude.
I would then date a woman with Jordan sparks voice, Taylor Swift’s personality and Bathsheba’s figure (yeah! I get that from the Bible haha)
Clearly whoever said guys don’t fantasize was dead wrong.
I set myself up for failure, I think I was a big dreamer back then, I mean look at all that, how did I expect to become that entire package?
It therefore should come to no surprise that I became depressed because I never appreciated myself for who I truly was and gauged my limits and capacities for who I was by who I wanted to be. My depression is a story for another day. My try to be cool act, the cool guy, the awesome perfect man turned out terrible.
Turns out, my nose did not look like Adam Lambert’s, my face was long and hair too short. I didn’t have David Zepeda’s charm, the furthest I ever got trying to be him is giving awkward half baked compliments that were borderline weird and offensive. I tried Johnny Depp’s humor, I got those whaaaaaat???kinda looks. The cool Derek Hale persona totally failed me. I am the Emotional_all_over_the_place_type. I smile too much, laugh too loud and cry every once in a while(doctor said its good for my eyes, I cut onions, among my list of excuses). The women I got, let’s just say I got the friend zone with the not so beautiful ones and foot and mouth disease with the beautiful ones.
Stopping right there, I bet you would say I am a massive fail. After my depression, I learnt something.
I was never ever going to be as good as them in being who they truly are, that’s what made me admire them so much. They were just awesome at life and all they did because they had accepted themselves and loved themselves unconditionally for who they were.
Finally I gave up on becoming someone else. I learnt to look at the mirror and loving who looked back rather than wishing for someone with a better smile or whiter eyes. I accepted me for who I truly am. I learnt to love me. I learnt to be myself. I learnt acceptance for who I am. And I assure you, my life couldn’t turn out better.
I didn’t get Adam Lambert looks, I turned out better, I gradually accepted that there can only one Adam Lambert so I can only be the best ME I can be. With that my confidence slowly rose, my people skills got better, my charm and sense of humor developed, I made great true friends.
I met that special Lady who understood me and took me in, loved, cared and appreciated me for who I am, and so so much more. Somehow everything worked out. I made many mistakes yet the greatest was never accepting myself for who I truly am. Testing my limits by someone else rather than exploring life to find out my true potential. Following other people footsteps rather than making my own.
There is and will only be one of you, there never has been and never will be another exactly like you. You are someone’s everyday crush, not just their MCM , you are someone’s role model. But this can only be so if and only if you choose to Be Yourself.
Its time to love yourself, curves, edges and flaws.
#love_yourself #be_you_tiful #be_yourself
Regards, Rousah Villah.